After World War II, millions of German soldiers returned home, broken and traumatized. But they did not return as heroes. Unlike in other countries, where veterans were often honored, many German soldiers came back to a society that wanted to forget the war altogether. As a result, they buried their experiences deep within themselves, hiding dark secrets from their wives and families. What exactly did they keep hidden? Their participation in war crimes, the horrors they witnessed, their shame, and even their own victimhood.
The Crimes They Committed—or Witnessed
One of the biggest secrets German soldiers kept from their wives was their involvement in war crimes. While not all soldiers participated in atrocities, many witnessed or played a role in executions, massacres, and the persecution of civilians, particularly in Eastern Europe and the Soviet Union. The Wehrmacht, once considered a purely military force separate from Nazi ideology, has since been proven to have been deeply involved in war crimes. Soldiers who participated in the execution of prisoners, the burning of villages, or the forced starvation of Soviet civilians rarely spoke about these events after the war.
For those who were not direct participants, the guilt of having stood by and done nothing weighed heavily. Many soldiers saw things that haunted them for the rest of their lives—death marches, mass graves, or brutal treatment of prisoners. Admitting such things to their wives or families was nearly impossible, as it would mean acknowledging their own complicity or powerlessness.
The Brutality of the Eastern Front
The Eastern Front was unlike any other theater of war. Fought with extreme brutality between Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union, it was a place of unimaginable suffering. German soldiers endured freezing temperatures, starvation, and constant attacks. Many saw their comrades die in the most horrific ways—torn apart by artillery, frozen to death, or captured by Soviet forces, where they faced near-certain death in brutal POW camps.
Returning home, soldiers hid these horrors from their wives. They didn’t speak of the men they had to leave behind or the friends they saw executed by the SS for trying to surrender. Many had committed terrible acts to survive—stealing food from civilians, executing partisans, or even turning against their own wounded comrades to avoid being slowed down. These were things they could never tell their families.
The Fear of Soviet Retaliation
For soldiers who had served in the occupied territories of Eastern Europe, the end of the war brought another fear: retribution. The Soviet Red Army, after suffering immense losses, took brutal revenge on German soldiers and civilians alike. Mass rapes, executions, and forced labor in Soviet gulags became a terrifying reality for those caught in the Soviet zone.
Many returning soldiers carried the shame of knowing what had happened to German women during the Soviet occupation. But they rarely spoke about it. Admitting the scale of Soviet revenge would also mean acknowledging the crimes Germany had committed first.
The Shame of Defeat
For a generation raised under Hitler’s propaganda, the idea of defeat was unthinkable. Yet, in 1945, Germany lay in ruins. The mighty Wehrmacht had been crushed, and soldiers returned home not as victors, but as broken men. Many struggled with the shame of surrender, especially those who had once believed in the Nazi cause. Rather than admitting their failure, they told their wives only fragments of the truth—stories of bitter battles, lost friends, and hardship, but rarely the full extent of their suffering or complicity.
Silence as a Survival Mechanism
For many German soldiers, silence became a way to move on. Speaking about the war meant reopening wounds, both personal and societal. Post-war Germany wanted to rebuild, not dwell on the past. Wives often did not ask, and soldiers did not tell. The memories of war stayed locked away, only surfacing in nightmares, alcoholism, or moments of quiet regret.
The true experiences of German soldiers—both their suffering and their guilt—remained hidden for decades. But history has since uncovered many of their secrets, revealing a past they wished they could forget.
